I closed my eyes and laid my head back into the water. The sun made my skin glow. The water in my ears muffled the noises around me, the people were no longer a bother. Sigh. Finally the moment of peace and solitude I have been yearning for.
When I opened my eyes, it was silent with nothing but the sun gazing back at me. Just moments ago the world was filled with people and responsibilities, now it was only me and the unrelenting beast of nature.
I suppose I have now received everything I wished for - for as long as I can remember I searched for a relaxing alternative to the hustle of city life. Fear and loneliness washed over me - for now I see all I had taken for granted.
The sun began to dip and I began to tire. I looked in every direction for something familiar, or perhaps a sign from God; any thing at all to approximate where I was or how long I had strayed. Time passed and my body yearned for nourishment. My body began to sag. I was lost, as lost as anyone had ever been.
I looked around. There was nothing in sight. It was me, the sun, the water, and the painted sky. I longed for the sound of seagulls squawking above me or for a single piece of litter to dance its way to me on the water's surface.
My only solution was to look below. I had no clue how much time had passed, or how far I had drifted, or in what direction the familiar could be found. I gathered my breath to prepare to look below. I closed my eyes. I prepared to dunk my head. I couldn’t do it. Something stopped me. A sharp pain in my back. It was not physical. It was fear of facing my destiny. My destiny had never been so limited, below the surface was a world of possibilities of both the good and the treacherous, a slope of sand just out of reach leading towards the beach or a family of sharks circling tonight's dinner.
I had never believed in God, but I suppose God was invented for a time like this. No matter the answer that lay below the surface at least I would know my future. Few things in life are more exhausting than uncertainty.
I ducked my head below to meet my destiny. An abyss stared back at me. Below was nothing, nothing but infinite darkness. I knew only one thing that I had not known a moment before: I am truly alone.