This is the third, and final part to the little trilogy of short stories. There's 'Ticking', 'Waking' and now 'Fighting'. Hope you enjoy it!!
I was wrong.
The heart monitor beeped rhythmically beside me; it was the new clock. The monitor was there, taunting me loudly. Every time my heart rate increased or slowed down, the monitor let me know.
I wasn't dead, but I wasn't exactly alive.
I could hear everything around me, but I couldn't move anything; not my fingers, toes, not even my eyebrows. I couldn't open my eyes, couldn't blink or even make the movement of looking around. But I could feel everything. Every rubber glove touching my skin, every poke and prod on my body, every bandage change, every warmth in my hand as someone grabbed it, and then eventually the coldness when they took the hand away. I could feel everything, and I hated it. I couldn't move my mouth, couldn't open it, couldn't smile or attempt to talk; I couldn't make any noise, no matter how hard I tried.
I wasn't dead, sure... but the state I was in, was much worse.
The doctors said that I had hit my head in the accident. While the paramedics thought I had been fine, I really wasn't; I had a small brain bleed, and overtime it grew bigger. Luckily, they were able to fix the bleed during surgery, but I hadn't woken up yet, and they weren't sure if I ever would. I was in a coma, had been for months... and the worst thing is that it wasn't a medically induced one, which meant that they couldn't wake me up from it.
I don't want to die, I had so much to live for, I have so much to fight for... but how much longer can I fight?
I don't know if Cooper is alive... and if he is, what state is he in? Does he hate me for being the one who hit him? Does he wish I were dead? Does his mother hate me? Does Nina hate me?
Nina... the girl who I once trusted with me entire life. She was my best friend, the one person I talked to about everything... the one person I trusted enough to share my true feelings toward Cooper with. And she was the one person who ended up betraying me...
The day after I told her how I really felt about Cooper, she went on a date with him. And I let her. He fell in love with her, leaving me out of the picture. I never looked at her the same... I couldn't look at her the same. Nina had given me advice on how to get Cooper to notice me, except it had all been a ruse to get him to notice her. She used me to get him to notice her.
The advice she gave me, was to convince Cooper to go on a date with her, and I did just that, because she told me that the point of the date was so she could help him realise he was in love with me... but that's not what happened at all. He ended up falling in love with her. I should've never taken her advice, nor should I have ever trusted her.
When Cooper asked what happened between us, I lied and told him that we both simply got busy with work and couldn't talk as much, that it pulled us apart, and we weren't as close as we were before, and that I didn't think we could ever be that close again. I couldn't let him know the truth, because then he'd know my true feelings, the feelings that he clearly didn't reciprocate... and I knew he would never forgive me for telling him, and that it would mess things up for good.
So really... now that I think about it. What do I have left to fight for?
The shell of a relationship that could've been if I hadn't put my trust in the wrong person? A best friend who I love, but have to watch love someone else? An ex-best friend who betrayed me? A boy who I am in love with... who could potentially hate me? Parents who are in graves? A little brother who is in prison for murder? An older sister who lives on the other side of the world?
So, the answer to that question is; nothing.
I have nothing to lose, and therefore I have nothing to fight for.
So why can't I let go? Why can't I stop breathing and just give up?
"April..." a gentle voice says from beside me as my eyes slowly blink themselves open before squinting at the bright light.
I slowly, groggily look over to the boy who I love. A gentle smile rests on his face, though so does a worried frown; he has bags under his eyes and his usually curly hair is mangled and knotty... he looks like he hasn't slept properly in days. He's in a wheelchair, and he has multiple casts, bandages and band-aids all over his body. I did that to him.
"It wasn't your fault..." he tells me, his gentle smile growing as he squeezes my hand; he always was able to know exactly what I was thinking. "I love you..."
He is the reason. The reason I can't let go, or give up; the reason I keep fighting no matter the difficulty. Because part of me is always thinking... hoping, that maybe there is still a chance that he loves me like I love him.
I hope you enjoyed this final part! This one was in April's point of view again, if that was a tad unclear.
Some feedback would be very much welcomed and is encouraged as it will help me grow as a writer, but that being said, feedback is not absolutely necessary!
After a some feedback from my best friend and parents, I am considering creating these short stories into a book of some sort; obviously it would be a tad different, and would be longer... so let me know if that's something you'd be interested in :)
To anyone who reads this; have a wonderful day or night!